One of the biggest challenges in business and life is learning how to find your people, your “tribe,” or your community. Whatever you call it, it’s important to find those people, and it also takes a little bravery.
My whole life, I’ve been a pretty passive, “go with the flow” kind of person. I could get along with anyone, and never really understood the importance of building a solid community around me.
Over time, especially this past year, as I started going through a lot of personal development, I’ve discovered just how important it is to find your people. I’ve also discovered how it takes a little bit of bravery. You see, finding your “tribe” online is a lot more than just finding people you get along with.
It’s about finding the people who truly get you and love you for who you really are. They encourage you to be the best version of yourself and will cheer you on as you go through life. But in order to find those people, you have to learn how to open up and be truly and authentically you.
Some people are able to do this naturally. But for others, like myself, it’s a bit more of a challenge.
How to Find Your People Online, And Why it Matters
I don’t know about you, but as a work at home, homeschooling mom, a lot of my adult interaction comes from social media.
It’s where I build my business, but it’s also where I find people I can connect with. I’ve found some of my absolute best friends by connecting over social media, and I think it’s a really important part of building our community.
There are a lot of reasons to find the people who really get you. Acceptance is something we all strive for. But, besides acceptance, your people will be the ones there for you when you need them the most.
They’re also the ones who trust you. They trust you to make recommendations. They’ll listen to what you have to say. They’ll lift you up in a way that allows you to use your platform for the things that really matter.
I know what you’re thinking. “But, I don’t have a platform.” And maybe you think that’s true. A lot of my readers have built businesses online, and this message can really speak to them. But you know what?
We all have a platform, whether we’re in business or not.
If you have five people in your life, you have a platform. Those are people who chose to follow you and hear what you have to say. That can be friends on social media or people who have known you your whole life. They care what you have to say, and you have a chance to share your passions with them.
Your platform can be a blog, an Etsy shop, a local business, the friends who ask you advice, or people who follow you on social media. You don’t need to be a celebrity to have influence, because we all have that opportunity.
I don’t know about you, but I like to teach people about the things I’m most passionate about.
Things like natural living, holistic health and taking charge of your health, finding a way to stay at home with my kids, homeschooling…you get the idea.
I want to be able to encourage others in those areas in case they feel ill equipped but have a desire. If you feel the same, just know this:
Someone needs to hear what YOU have to say, and when you keep quiet in order to fit in, they don’t get to hear that message.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people reach out to me and thank me for sharing, telling me how much it helped them or inspired them. That’s what it’s all about! And it couldn’t happen if I was being quiet because I was scared of not fitting in.
How to Find Your People
The most important thing to remember when trying to build authentic relationships is that people have to relate to you. Whether you are looking to attract the right customers to your business or attract the right people into your life, it’s the same.
Know. Like. Trust.
People have to know you. Like, really know you. They have to like you, and they have to trust you.
In order for that to happen, there has to be some sort of bond. You have to stand out from everyone else. You can’t hid behind “the norm” and expect people to see the real you.
That means talking about the things that matter. Sharing your opinion.
No. Not everyone is going to agree with you. You’re going to ruffle some feathers. You’re going to turn people away, too. But the people that stay…those are the ones you’re really looking for.
Here are some ways to stand out and find your tribe:
- Stand for something: Start talking about what really matters to you. Whether that be your faith, how you raise your kids, or your beliefs on the latest political matters. Figure out what you want to stand for, and share your passion.
- Don’t be scared of conflict: When you start talking about the things that matter a lot to you, they’re going to upset some people. Understand that this is part of the process, and accept it. You can’t make everyone happy all the time.
- Stand out: Say things differently than what most people are saying. Say it in a different way, or share a different side of the story. Make people see things they otherwise wouldn’t have.
- Speak life into people: We all need someone to believe in us.. And, when you speak life into others, you’ll find the people who need to hear what you have to say.
How to find your community online
Social media and online platforms are a big part of how we connect these days. Whether you’re building a business or just trying to connect with like minded individuals, there are a few ways we can intentionally make those connections.
How do you use social media to build friendships and make connections with people who will truly get you?
I started by asking myself these questions:
- What are the things that really matter to me?
- Who do I want to reach?
- What do I want to use my platform for?
- Why do I want this connection?
- What do I want to influence people to do?
These days, with all of the “influencers” out there, it’s easy to get online and just want to build a huge following. You see others doing it, so that’s what we need to do, right?
But if you’re growing a following just to grow a following, it’s pointless. If there’s no real connection there, it means literally nothing. It’s just a lot of time being spent on shallow connections that will only stick around long enough to get what they want and then move on.
It’s important to find real connections.
You want people that get you.
So, be selective. Be authentic. Change the conversation about the things you’re most passionate about.
For me, those things are:
- Homeschooling, and encouraging other parents who have the desire to do the same.
- Holistic health, and educating others on why we choose what we choose.
- Working from home, or finding a way to stay at home, and encouraging others who have that same desire.
- Self care, and reminding other moms that they can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Sustainable, eco-friendly living, and educating others on why it’s so important.
Obviously, none of these things apply to everyone (except self care!), and so my goal is not to reach everyone with those topics. My goal is to reach those that want to hear what I have to say. Those who need me to speak life into those desires and goals.
Want to find your community online?
- Write down what matters most.
- Focus on sharing those things online.
- Reach out to the people you find a connection with.
- Nurture those relationships.
- Find groups on Facebook related to your interests. (Psst: I have one for natural living and one for work at home moms!)
- Make sure most of your content talks about what matters.
- Use your platform to share something important to you.
- Influence people to go out and actually do something they love.
- And most importantly, be authentic.
Final thoughts on finding your people:
If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, or if you’re staying neutral rather than speaking up about what matters, you’ll end up attracting a community that has nothing in common with the real you.
That’s not what you want. Not in life, and not in business.
Learn how to find your people, and let’s start changing the conversation about the things that matter the most!